Step Eight: YOUR MAGICAL PURPOSE
Start leading the life you were meant to lead.
Identifying the life you were meant to lead focuses on discovering your purpose.
There is a place in the world that only you can fill. No one else can fill it.
There is something you have to do in the world. No one else can do it.
At the intersection of these two things is your destiny, and you fulfill it by discovering and living your purpose.
After discovering your purpose, your life is magical.
You have this profound understanding of why you are here and what your work is about.
Understanding your purpose and living that in the world is a very different level of happiness.
It is the kind that delights the soul and makes the heart sing. It permeates every aspect of your life.
This Step helps you discover your purpose so that you can live the life you were meant to lead—the one where happiness abounds!
Finding your purpose shouldn’t be your life’s work.
Using it should be.
There are 3 sections to this Guide:
What is Purpose?
How Do I Discover My Purpose?
The Power of Understanding Purpose
There is one tool for this step: Your Purpose Worksheet.
Additional insights on purpose are offered in the video that accompanies this step.
Let’s get started!
Table of Contents
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What is Purpose?
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How do I Discover My Purpose?
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The Power of Understanding Purpose
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Your Purpose Worksheet
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Your Magical Purpose Video
1. What is Purpose?
According to Richard Leider, author of The Power of Purpose: Find Meaning, Live Longer, Better, purpose is:
“an expression of the deepest dimension within us—of our central core or essence, when we have a profound sense of who we are, where we came from, and where we’re going. Purpose, when it is clear, is the aim around which we structure our lives, a source of direction and energy, and the way the meaning of our lives is worked out in daily experience. You have a purpose no matter what age you are, how healthy you are, or what your economic or social situation is.”
Poet David Whyte wrote, “the forces and tides that make up your life will never appear again.”
The qualities, virtues, and difficulties encountered by you will never be bound together in this potentiality.
With the understanding that you are absolutely a one-of-a-kind mosaic, why not discover, know and arrange your gifts in the most powerful way possible?
Knowing your purpose doesn’t change one thing.
It changes everything.
The day I understood my purpose, it was as if a kaleidoscope that had been out of focus for years finally became clear and all the colors and images lined up.
It seemed that all the gears in a machine were finally working in unison. I suddenly knew why I had walked my particular path. I understood myself and my behavior at a level I can’t even put into words.
Armed with this information, I believed I could supercharge my life in a direction filled with meaning and passion. I felt good about maximizing my potential.
I hope that upon completion of the Purpose Worksheet, you will feel that way, too.
Discovering your purpose isn’t only for a special select few, either. It’s for everyone.
As Derek Rydall, the author of Emergence: Seven Steps for Radical Life Change, writes:
“No matter what side of the tracks you were born on, what kind of childhood you had, what current challenges you’re slogging through, or what race, color, orientation, creed, or age you are, when you create the right inner conditions, the great purpose for which you were born must emerge.”
2. The Power of Purpose
Knowing your purpose has a profound impact on your health.
Alan Rozanski, a professor at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, has studied the relationship between life purpose and physical health.
He stated that
"The need for meaning and purpose is No. 1. It's the deepest driver of well-being there is."
His research revealed a strong life purpose was associated with reduced risk of mortality and cardiovascular events, such as heart attacks or stroke.
A 2016 Health and Retirement Study indicated that a strong purpose in life was associated with decreased mortality and a low purpose was associated with increased mortality. Even more profound is that:
“This association between a low level of purpose in life and death remained true despite how rich or poor participants were, and regardless of gender, race, or education level. The researchers also found the association to be so powerful that having a life purpose appeared to be more important for decreasing risk of death than drinking, smoking or exercising regularly.”
For a healthier and more fulfilling life, find your purpose and sprinkle that magic everywhere.
Discovering your purpose will be some of the most important work of your life. And it shouldn’t be hard to discover.
As I like to say, finding your purpose shouldn’t be your life’s work. Using it should be.
3. How Do I Discover My Purpose?
Let me start by saying your purpose shouldn’t be easy to discern. It should take time. It requires depth.
It requires excavating internally. And that is what you have been doing in the previous seven steps.
Bringing together these steps is how you find your purpose.
Many people begin their journeys in the wrong direction. Instead of going within, they look outward, asking the world, “What is my purpose?”
If a person doesn’t understand the different elements that make up purpose, this question will stump them, possibly for life.
It is an inside game, not an outside one.
Your purpose is the nucleus of all the facets of your individuality. It brings together those facets in a meaningful and profound way.
To reach that center, you must work from the outside in, not the inside out. Steps 1 and 5 build the pathway to the center of who you are and can be used to discover your purpose.
Your purpose sits in the center of your social currency, which can be found at the intersection of your values and strengths.
See Figure 5 for how purpose rests at the center of all that you are.
For me, drilling down to my core through values, strengths, and social currency offered me so much information about who I am, what I care about, and what I am good at.
It simplified the process of discovering purpose.
To begin discovering your purpose, fill in your values, strengths, and social currency on the purpose worksheet.
The next task is to spend time fermenting and percolating on the core essence of these different facets of who you are.
You have been slowly making your way inward to understand what makes you uniquely you. Think about what sits at the intersection of your social currency.
Is that your purpose? Is it the way you combine two of your strengths with a value?
I advise my coaching clients to brainstorm, writing down the first thing that comes to mind and continue wordsmithing from there.
Finding purpose is a great family activity.
One summer my two sons, Shep and Warren, and I spent the whole summer on this topic.
It was quickly clear that my oldest son Shep’s purpose had something to do with creativity.
We had to take a few days to wordsmith his purpose to discover its true essence.
It was also clear that mine had something to do with facilitating transformation.
Again, it took a few days to get to the essence of it.
The purpose of my younger son, Warren stumped us. We spent most of the summer working on his purpose.
Don’t be put off by having to spend time on this discovery.
Discovering who you are is an iterative process.
It’s not usually a one and done event.
As we spend time observing how our values show up, how we rely on our strengths, and deepening into who we are through our social currency, we see subtle nuances about ourselves that might result in a shift of what we view our purpose to be, or how our purpose is captured by our words.
Those shifts are never a bad thing.
They are proof of your ongoing commitment to refine your understanding of who you are as you continue to peel back the bruised emotional imprints that mask your true nature.
Here is the latest iteration of my purpose: facilitating faster transformation.
I have been wordsmithing my purpose statement for over 10 years.
That is because across time I have continued to discover the deeper Tomi within, adjusting the purpose statement as needed to reflect these nuanced pieces of myself.
I also realized it doesn’t need to be complicated.
Purpose is simple. What makes it unique is you.
While I live facilitating faster transformation in all parts of my life, my favorite place to use it is in the field of human potential.
That is my place of passion. For me, my purpose is a power greater than the average person has for seeing ways to simplify change and expedite personal growth.
The end result is to put into words (and they should be simple words) the one thing that is uniquely you.
Your purpose represents the place in the world that only you can fill.
Your purpose represents the something you have to do in the world that no one else can do.
In her book My Grandfather's Blessings: Stories of Strength, Refuge, and Belonging, Dr. Naomi Rachel Remen summarized the value and importance of this refining process:
“I am always tuning my orchestra. Somewhere deep inside there is a sound that is mine alone, and I struggle daily to hear it and tune my life to it. Sometimes there are people and situations that help me to hear my note more clearly; other times people and situations make it harder for me to hear. A lot depends on my commitment to listening and my intention to stay coherent with this note. It is only when my life is tuned to my note that I can play life’s mysterious and holy music without tainting it with my own bitterness, resentment, agendas, and fears.”
The Purpose Worksheet is your music sheet, helping you tune your life to your note so you can play life’s mysterious and holy music in the way that only you can. Keep editing your music sheet until it feels true for you!
Happy, healthy people know their purpose!