​​​​​​​The Emotional Karmic Scrap Heap: Minimize Your Emotional Wake

 

Most of us either suppress or express our emotions. Neither of those are aligned with being your most powerful self, and they contribute greatly to your Emotional Karmic Scrap Heap. This scrap heap comes from all of the emotions that we feel and don’t know how to process and deal with.

You clear your emotional karmic scrap heap by owning these emotions and sorting through them. You make the karmic scrap heap bigger when you throw these emotions on someone else. When we can transcend this scrap heap though then we can be more powerfully ourselves. There is power in the message that can be delivered without emotional interference.

The first step to clearing and overcoming your emotional scrap heap is developing emotional maturity. In You Can’t Make Me Angry, Dr. Paul O. says of emotional maturity, “emotional maturity demands ongoing, total acceptance of people, places, things, and situations as they are, rather than as I might wish them to be.” To be emotionally mature, we have to accept things as they are and that we have responsibility for the way that our life looks as well as our own emotions.

When we are not emotionally mature, we want the people in our life to be responsible for our happiness and we abdicate responsibility for our own lives and for our own happiness and believe they are the cause for the struggles we are facing. Clearing your emotional karmic scrap heap requires that you say, “I am responsible for how I am, who I am, how I live, and what I feel.”

Another important part clearing the emotional scrap heap is to feel what you feel when you feel it. Most of us try not to feel our emotions. We tend to stuff them back down our throat and deny them. Then, those feelings surface at inopportune times and we trip over them, putting us in a worse position than we would have before.

One of the best ways I have found to do this is the 24 hour rule. For 24 hours, you can wallow, cry, drink champagne, take tequila shots, yell, beat your fists on your chest, or dance by the light of the moon. Do whatever you have to do to feel the emotion. Wallow in that righteous anger! Don’t avoid it. Feel it.

However, when the 24 hours are up, you have to leave the hurt or pride here and take the wisdom of the moment forward. Author, marketer, and entrepreneur Ryan Holliday wrote, “Remember that this moment is not your life, it’s just a moment in your life." This is only one moment in a big life so rest in the power of the lesson and leave behind the pain or pride. 

The point of the 24 hour rule is to give yourself permission to feel whatever it is you feel so it doesn’t show up to haunt you later on. Often times, if you lean into those emotions, feel them at a new depth and give yourself permission to sit in them, it is easier to find the lesson and move forward without the pain. When we can find the teachings in the pain or the pride, we open ourselves up to the larger reality waiting for us.

Obviously, we can mourn or celebrate long after the 24 hours. The point isn’t to stop someone’s grief or to cut the joy short. Each of us celebrates and grieves differently. It invites you to stop for 24 hours. To feel deeply. To stand in the middle of what is breaking our hearts, making us angry, frustrating us, etc. To totally shut down, if that is what is needed. It makes it okay to stop. It also teaches that life goes on and so must you. You don’t have to stop grieving, crying, singing, celebrating or whatever at 24 hours and one second. But you do have to brush yourself off, get up and march forward. Simply put: No stuffing down the emotions. You keep the scrap heap from building back up when you give yourself 24 hours.

So now we have worked through the Intellectual Scrap Heap, as well as the Emotional. Now it’s time for the grand finale - the Energetic Karmic Scrap Heap, also known as everything else! You’re almost there!

Your cape awaits.

Tomi Llama

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